Restrains the
anches and leaves on the tree and did the best last essence of life, after the autumn wind blows, confide gives context after dying.
Pinch of in hand, it is late autumn desolate plains.
1.
Diagnosed depression of that day of weihai under just after a rain, clouds large areas covered in the sky, mist wall generally spread to the whole day, look up from the horizon, like a huge ink paintings is infect by water. Cement road at the foot of the smell of wet mud smell, mixed with new fishy from distant sea
eeze, all from entering the lungs.
Father with behind me, hand to save the hospital has just issued condition has been proved that there are many I can read on display on the list or dont understand the words and patterns, the signature or seal, such as hidden deep in the mountains a old was buried in the tomb, with my soul, it is not easily touch, still can be dug. I cant see his face, but it can clearly see his inner fear.
And my memory is like the man have no change, his temper has long since been years more sharp and bitter life, a lot of people and objects, in an increasingly flow to the perspective of time gradually fade from memory, memory is no longer clear and
ight, also like early spring are warming, glaciers, from the corner of the mountain into the river on the surface of the earth, then into the vast sea, and the myriad water mix into an organic whole, and even where and will return to where you came from. And some of the people and things, can never be erased, his real existence, not only in the memory.
About the memory of his father, mostly stay in childhood, in the days of the years of my gold hair pin back doesnt seem to have too much contact, in addition to learning, not the rest of the topics of communication between each other, this is a normal, knowing that is a kind of sadness, is also unable to
eak the confine, because of this, experience of what happened in my body, he never knew, even if occasionally mentioned now, is only a joke, so I began to un
idled bold on the rampage in the school, to avoid the teacher, to avoid the familiar people, another me, with a fresh sealed in their own little world, nobody knows, nor close.
The relationship between parents and children, there is no contradiction with itself, but increasingly alienated, as new two
anches from the trunk, compact, with each other over time, at the same time in the growth of more and more far distance, but whatever
anch tip distance, they always have the same root, unable to separate with each other to complete.
Mother often mention my childhood, is a chaotic time, without any image related to memory, now let me feel ironic sound, mother said, after the birth of his first cry is in the fathers arms, like a hatch and the young eagles, will first meet each other, as their closest people. Because of work, after only hopes to grandma in the country to take care of me, in my grandmothers house, I cry day and night, grandma but take me back home in the city, let me play in his bedroom, hear the voice of the father opened the door and anxious to climb up the past, little hands tightly holding the father, inarticulate called dad, and then in the bosom of the father, how would not leave.
2
Because of the depression, and soon I moved back to the home from school, my father help me to tidy up your luggage and take me out to eat a meal, he sat opposite me, menu Noah to me, call me at random order.
High school in the school accommodation, so have little time to go home, the family together time is not more than 12 hours a week, most of the time are silent to each other, each doing things, or talk about the topic of how to improve the performance, I usually silent, only the father softly with a strong voice in the air spread and then disappear, mother peel orange on one side for me.
Weekly dinner is a big home, mother told me, all is personally go to the father.
My delight, he knows all.
Fathers love and care for me is greater than all, a lot of relatives and friends even along with their believed that this feeling is not everyone can be paid. The most unbalanced in the world there are two kinds of feelings, the nature of love from parents, the second from the teacher to the spirit of dedication, any one is historically between circulating the most famous, is also often in filial piety and DE.
Nevertheless, I side with the most good friends more than once said that I dont want to go home.
Chatter is a kind of disease, ever since I was born after it there is entrenched in his fathers mind, he is always in front of colleagues, such as the Mona Lisa smile, soft like are big responsibility of protecting world peace, passionless his tender, considerate, even if is bitter in heart will not be easily churn out, a lot of people evaluation father would say this is a rare good man that occupy the home.
Relatives and friends often ask me when I was a child like the father or mother, at that time I will not hesitate to say good father, his gentle and treat me like the palm of the treasure is the most important he can prevent mother to use violence to me, and then charges a lot of dissatisfaction with the mother, my mothers character, she contrast with just one word will fire emit three zhangs my painful scold or beat up a meal, after I confirmed cases she had three times personally apologize to me, think of childhood to me beat and scold is one of the important factors cause depression in my heart, in fact, when I was growing up after few can remember when I was a child, so this is the psychological doctor said the shadow of the hidden deep in my heart, did not exert a subtle influence on many peoples childhood are unknowingly passing in the familys fist and the friction, now it seems they are right.
Now still occasionally someone asked who is my favorite, I no longer like childhood outspoken but smiled said who are all well.
If can now ask me how to evaluate father maybe I couldnt answer a word.
3.
I remember my father for the first time to play because of performance problems, the problem gives my family a headache from primary school to now, father youth achievement is very good, maybe he cant imagine her daughter could be so bad, the ancients said high expectations at the mind of the woman herself is here, the purpose of the parents themselves are for the children, rich or poor when they have a common purpose only, for their kids to live better in the future. Had a phrase to one thousand readers have one thousand Hamlet, education children in different parents have different ways of education, but it happened that most parents are kept on a performance, at all to the childs performance increase day by day, even in the dream in the dream Shouting a dont play go to reading, parents eager is not no experience, after the heart has become rich and full, will be concerned about the state of the now, without feeling ashamed. Then father inspection I do homework all day long, all night long, usually stayed up in the morning, some in my eyes is difficult to understand him always in the shortest possible time to solve it, when I most admire is father, as if in dungeons omnipotent superman. Just mans patience is limited, so when my father was the third time and I still feel ignorant about such problem situation, his violent factor will be rushing division eventually burst.
At that time the father I always have a love-hate relationship, and he decided to give up on me, the supervision of my grades also slowly began to rise.
High school teacher in charge told me that not everyone is suitable for learning, just as some people are good at dancing, some people are good at sports, some people can grasp well the use of flexible in life, some people will be very clear answer on the examination paper, everyone has each persons talent, as to learning, efforts will not necessarily have but must be able to get you an unexpected harvest.
Often talk about the things hes always full of learning to my father couldnt spit it out to the sky dark ink posture, straight-tempered I also learned how to play high up the deep cold seldom mention about learning the language in front of his father, then turned into a no longer take the initiative to talk with his father.
The gap may be s, a lot of things between two people cant agree on ideas, sometimes I think father is unreasonable, because he would even a small thing to me sound ah yan and complete.
Many times I have wanted to hurriedly escape this home, or prayer times faster transfer some round I grew up and have left home at an early date and reasons of capital.
4.
Poor heart all the parents, the poor rather than the heart of the parents take out all have to children when the children didnt even look at one eye, as well as the children busy worrying about the lifetime is still willing to pay a share of the persistent
He changes in recent years I always understand my heart, the hard work for the home more than a decades father has long been riddled with holes, in the society and the fierce torrent anterograde there was nothing he could do to disguise, he will be out of pressure release in this family, his wife, daughter, for us, is one of the largest power, hes biggest depend on. On duty, director of the practice tell my father I self-harm self-injury, his eyes tears of storage already gaining, put down all the work to want to meet me at home about was I refused, I dont know what to tell him, whats more, it is their own making.
I used to in front of friends said my parents dont understand me, my
other told me because I know I never give them a chance.
I think, maybe.
Mother told me that time my father always suffer from insomnia, feel happy because of my illness guilty all day long giddy.
His inner pain at the speed of a more fierce than time to rush to his old, for so many years, for the first time saw his fragile.
5.
Father lives at the foot of the tree for it from the rain, no matter how large and it also needs sunshine shining water rainwater, time crown leaves it swept away, one piece into fat food supply other life, its always believe that there is also always flourish again desolate plains of the day.
He has been waiting for, bloomy spring.